Devastation and Reform

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

1 Corinthians 10:13

These words are brought to my attention as I struggle with my mind, vying to be heard over the squabble of competing thoughts, all attempting to demand dominion over me. 

There is a way out so that I can stand up under it, under life, underneath all the daily things I deal with. 

Monday morning prayer today was lovely. We looked at Psalm 13 which begins:

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thought and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?”

The perfect way to begin a Monday. Five more weeks of school. Five more weeks of actually knowing what to do with my life. HOW LONG O LORD?! How long must I wait for you?!?! How long must my fervent prayers yet be unanswered? How long will you remain silent and far from me? How long?! O Lord my God, my soul yearns for you like plants yearn for sunshine- I cannot withstand the cold winter frost without your love!

David continues:

“Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.”

Lord, grant me the gift of wisdom and discernment, that I may better serve you, that satan will not triumph over me. My kind of thinking isn’t enough in life; I need you.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”

Lord, I praise you for your faithfulness and unending love and I am joyful in hope. I will sing to you out of gratitude for the rest of my life, for I already have been blessed abundantly in this life. 

I am weary, but confident that God is growing me in some way through this all. My heart is with other people right now- I want to see prayers for them answered. I want to know what my purpose is this summer. I want to know if I’m making a mess of my life some days…

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