Bittersweet

Bittersweet; the compound word embodying the dichotomy, the paradigm of something both sharp yet sweet. I do not like that the first word is bitter. It implies a hardening of the heart; a certain jadedness I could never wish to possess in any way. Sweet, on the other hand, is pleasant. Rarely does anyone have any negative connotations for it (save perhaps too much of actual sugar in concentration). Apart, they have their individual meanings, yet together, they are something different altogether. They complement each other, creating something not all one or the other, but together.

Bittersweet. Like the cold fall rain, it is reminiscent of happier or warmer times, yet heightens the senses with the intensity of change; the difference between summer and winter that meets somewhere in between. I dislike the cold, yet I still embrace the rain, laughing even when I have no umbrella and must face the soggy socks as consequence of deluged walks across campus.

I remember this, and it is with that combination of pain and joy that I embrace change. I accept that, in a sense, Winter has come; yet at the same time, it is ninety-five degrees and I am bathed in penetrating heat that covers me like a blanket of love. I cannot change the seasons that have been predestined. I cannot, out of sheer willpower, still the oncoming storms. What I can do is smile- not simply in token facial facade, but in soul. I can allow my heart to melt and radiate heat so it cannot freeze or be drowned in storms of tears or sorrows.

It is amazing that with such diction, I strive to pull you in, to help you understand one thing.

It hurt me to see the sun shine on a place where I dwelt many days, when all I had seen was thunderheads, cold rain, and mud; yet I still smiled, heart and head, for the happiness of the next esteemed guest who was already bright with sunshine and bathed in love.

Bittersweet.
I cannot cling to clouds, but I can most definitely bask in the sun that has returned.

May all your storms of doubts and fear be cleared with the promise of sunlight’s cheer.

24 ” ‘ “The LORD bless you
and keep you;

25 the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;

26 the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.” ‘

Numbers 6:24-26

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