Anyone else remember those acronyms? Back in the W.W.J.D. bracelet days, those were pretty popular as well.
Pray Until Something Happens, Fully Rely On God, and 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, pray.
Ok, so that was a random tangent, but I was reminded of those cliched phrases by prayer today.
I attempted to do my homework for a couple of hours, I was supposed to meet a friend but plans changed, I thought about dinner but I wasn’t hungry, I thought about working out but didn’t want to… I knew I was failing to be productive. I hadn’t had my time with God either, but I didn’t want to. I attempted to nap, and after failing at that, I finally got the idea to head over to the chapel where some of the student ministries on campus are having 24/7 prayer.
To be honest, I left restlessly. I was not ok with the things that have gone on in the past couple of weeks. Everything has been falling apart or disappointing or just plain unfair in my eyes- friends’ family members battling cancer, my father losing his job, my will being usurped again. I started walking to the chapel. It was the kind of cold that freezes the inside of your nostrils and throat, and I felt an odd sense of urgency. I had to get there right away. I’m still not sure what that was all about, but I spent over an hour just pouring my heart out to God, digging into a couple of Psalms, and being reminded of the promises He has for us (see Psalms 32-34 if you want to see what I was looking at). He desires our good. He created our hearts and knows them in and out. His Will is above and superior to any human schemes. Everything He says is true, and He has promised to deliver His people no matter how dire the situation. It may not be how we envision it, but we have to trust that it’s for our own good.
I’ve been having a hard time believing that lately.
I cried. I prayed. I soaked up what God had to say, and shared what I was feeling and thinking. There is literally nothing else I want to live for. People fail. Things fail. I fail at life… but God restores and redeems. I need that.
I left feeling amazing. For the first time this semester, salt company was not a bittersweet night for me. I sang, I was filled with supernatural peace and joy… I felt like myself again. I knew I was free. Mark Arant talked about John 12. It’s the story of Mary pouring very expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet and washing it with her hair. I’ve heard it a million times, but it made more sense tonight. When God truly is all you live for, everything else seems like it’s worth it for Him. Arant said that this story teaches us a lesson: you’ll never regret the things you do for God; only the things you don’t do. He also said that the more you say “no” to God, the harder it is to keep your heart from being hardened and to say “yes” to what God wants to do in your life. You can choose safe and mediocre, whatever is comfortable, familiar… selfish. Or you can choose to become what you were created to be, only you can’t become that unless you die to yourself. You have to put everything on the table without hesitation.
It’s one thing to say, and quite another to do.
I realize that sometimes God takes things away from me because I can’t let go. I love that He knows what I need and what I can or cannot handle. In a world that believes in relative morality, comfort, and ease, it is sweet to have truth. I am very joyful right now. He is still enough (even though I can’t get enough!).