This is a project SOS.
I’m like the titanic, only I can see the iceberg, and am still having difficulties navigating away from it.
I didn’t used to suffer from project anxiety. I used to SOAR academically. I delighted in my work because it was easy. Now that I’m a senior in college, it’s not easy. It’s ridiculously huge projects.
I find myself literally procrastinating for hours because I’m stressed about completing it. I know, I know, “break it down into manageable chunks.” “Take study breaks.” “Just do the work!”
I pray about it. My friends pray about it. My mom prays about it. I examine my motives with questions like “Is this really passive aggressive behavior to avoid something I don’t want to do? After all, if you want to do something, you’ll do it, right? Why am I not doing it? How will I ever get this done?! Is this because of my OCD tendencies? Do I not think I can accomplish this correctly or on time?”
Trust me, I know all about study skills. I know how to complete projects and what tasks are at hand. I know that I am capable… so why don’t I do it??
I can’t tell if I’m more frustrated because I can’t discern why or because I’m wasting incredibly large amounts of my time. Gah! Ridiculous!