I just had to share another article I found really encouraging. Here it is.
The main argument of the article is that compatibility in Christian couples is not a pre-existing condition, but rather something that improves with grace. It offers scripturally based questions for both dating and married couples, and really challenged me to consider my own heart when it comes to marriage.
Consider the following quote:
“Instead of finding a compatible mate, Christians are instructed to marry another Christian and become a compatible mate. ”
What is the balance between finding someone compatible and finding someone Christian? I mean, obviously my goal was to find another Christian because I wanted someone heading in the same direction, but how much should other aspects play a part in seeking a spouse?
I have heard of maybe one or two marriages between godly people who each wanted to be married yet weren’t sure if they were really attracted to the person they were with but went ahead because they were content that it is what God wanted for them. Admittedly, I was a bit skeptical, but so far, so good.
Maybe I went at the whole dating thing from a skewed angle. For me, the red flags were things like lack of commitment, pressure to do things I didn’t want to do, how a man treats his mother, how he interacts with others, how he deals with pressure or conflict, how interested he was to talk about spiritual things, or how much of his self-worth was seemingly contingent upon our relationship.
Regardless, I am thankful that God got me to where I am now in one piece. Although I am learning more of the realities of my prince charming as we prepare for marriage, it is humbling to see how God is continually transforming my heart and challenging me to keep working at finding who it is He desires me to be. I feel a little less like a firecracker (or a firework for all you pop music groupies) and more faithful.
The difference is peace. I still don’t quite have the hang of it all the time, but He is drawing it out of me with each new challenge. Really, it’s not even something I could even claim to this extent a year ago. It’s also nice that Chris topher has a calm spirit to counteract my passionate spontaneity that can often combust into panic overdrive (note: the fact that I’m not perpetually sleep deprived anymore may or may not have something to do with it).
Wherever you’re at in life, take heart and consider how you can become more compatible, or beneficial, to others rather than looking to others to satisfy your needs. It’s something I need to remind myself of more often.