They say wedding planning grows a relationship…

and I’m inclined to agree. After another weekend at home for a church shower, another lengthy discussion with my mother over our differing opinions and modes of communication concerning the wedding itself, a couple of nights on the couch while at home, Chris aiding me in sorting through my life and literally packing up everything important to me from where I grew up, and feeling stressed beyond belief, I am ready for engagement to be over.

I have thought about this a lot, and although I am still attempting to cherish this very short time of engagement in my life, I’m ready to go. The ways I’m “cherishing” this time are not always productive. Yes, it’s great to pick up lots of work hours in two jobs in addition to serving a family from church with cleaning and childcare, but cooking/cleaning/working in three different homes is difficult (one is where I live, one is where I work, and one is where I serve my fiance and his brother, and those are just the ones in town). If ever I felt like a wandering person (cue memories of moving all the time in college), it is now. And even after I’m married, we’ll be moving twice in the first six months of marriage.

The good news is, my man is taking me with him and there will be no more goodnight and goodbyes 🙂

But today is not that day. Today is a day when I can’t say the right thing and my temper is short. Today is the day I email my fiance a creative note to cheer him up consisting of song titles with embedded youTube links combined with my thoughts in an effort to be civil. Today is the day I said I didn’t care about the cake out of frustration for this whole ordeal. Ugh. I’m glad Chris Topher knows who he’s marrying, but I’m very sorry he knows who he’s marrying sometimes!

I’m actually processing some feelings about moving BEFORE it’s happening and it’s weird. I threw away so many things that symbolized childhood and my life before now. No, don’t worry, I kept the good stuff, but tried to contain it to two large rubbermaid bins. I really don’t need anything more than that. I even consolidated my art supplies to one box. This move is serious!

I love how my beloved just said, “Let’s find the important things, the things that you need to take with you.” I love him. Lots.

God, give me the grace to see You on these kinds of days and to see the big picture somehow.


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