Does it really change anything if you just think you feel better about life?
I don’t think so.
I can tell you (not that anyone reads this anyway) that me feeling happy won’t change the fact that I don’t have many friends here. People see unhappiness as some kind of disease that needs a cure or is even contagious. It’s not.
You know what would help? Somebody, really anybody, trying to be friendly or at least following through with what they say they’ll do (call, hang out, help me make a connection in order to find a job). I have been the one who welcomes the newcomers so often that I think I’m not very good at being the new one. It’s good for me, but it’s hard.
I wouldn’t say I’m bitter, but I try to see things realistically. I have lied to myself before, and I really tend to be in denial when things are rough, so I’m trying find that elusive middle ground.
I’m also trying to understand everything that is going on as well as have peace for God’s purpose in this time.
So don’t worry. I will be okay. I’m just praying for a friend to walk with me because the valleys can get lonesome. I am incredibly lucky to have a wonderfully supportive husband, but I know that I sometimes need outside perspective. There’s always going to be another difficult issue on the horizon, so in the long run, this is just a little bump.
Thanks for listening, dear blog. You untangle my thoughts and feelings so patiently.