I wonder why people forget who they are. I myself am guilty of it, but I have difficulty remembering the how and why of where I am.
It never happens all at once. Change is a slow dance that sheds layers of inhibitions and prior judgement. Change is falling off the wall of indecision. Perhaps you picked the right side of where to fall, perhaps not, but it has happened. Only time will tell. Change is sipping a hot cup of tea down to the dregs. It doesn’t feel like much, but it filters through one with a sigh.
I am learning to accept this strange companion, because he is a hopeless tag-along in my life. Although I am annoyed with his being slow, I also cry when he goes too fast and leaves me bewildered.
Perhaps we can still be lovers. Perhaps he can find a way to woo me without ultimately making me feel impatient or lost. I wish he would talk to me.
What I am certain of is his constancy, loathe as I am to admit that. I am also comforted by the parts of me that feel unrecognized, curled up and tucked away from the world. There are glimpses of these things that make me think that perhaps change has some surprises in store.
In the meantime, remember to whisper to yourself. Gather up the parts that you miss that have been lost with change. Cling to the good present and the good yet to come. Take a conscious step toward remembering who you set out to be.