Some thoughts on Christmas and Examination of Self

It is still December 26th, so I am still processing Christmas while in my far-removed from snow Floridian location.

I am not Lutheran, Catholic, or Presbyterian(or any other Advent-celebrating denomination), but I love the season of Advent. It is filled with joyful expectation of the celebration of Christ’s birth. It reminds me that there is One worthy of expectation, and that God’s love is faithful and complete, even over centuries and to present-day. It is that He promised and then gave His Son, Jesus Christ, as a complete gift to the world.

If you have time, I’d watch the WHOLE ENTIRE THING, but if not, enjoy just this selection from Handel’s Messiah:

I love choir music because it is one of the most eloquent forms of musical expression. It is timeless and bigger than oneself; a lot like my view of God. It is very difficult not to respond to the music once enveloped in it.

This year has still been a part of one of the most difficult seasons yet. Although Topher and I are accomplishing things (buying a house, building a teaching career, completing a Masters degree), we are still struggling with this land that is both the majority of our married life together so far and not yet completely settled down into careers and beginning a family.

Not having kids yet is extremely difficult some days because I feel that it is something I have been meant to do since birth and am so close to it (yes, I’m the more ready of the two of us). It also doesn’t help that 3/5 of our small group is pregnant with their first child or are contemplating subsequent children or that I am surrounded by friends who turned into “SUPER EXCLUSIVE MOMMIES” who forget how to talk to non-childrened friends.

Not having kids yet is extremely convenient because I can spend roughly three weeks of my summer traveling footloose and fancy free while my husband works in the broiling fields of Southeast Arkansas. I can take lots of naps, enjoy my 20-something figure, take up new hobbies (canning is next), teach summer school for half-days for 3 weeks, enjoy a reasonable amount of disposable income, and decorate our new home with NON-child friendly decor. This is the golden season. It means we can travel to exotic locales, sleep in, and eat pancakes on weekends. It means I can get sick and ignore EVERYONE and EVERYTHING and miserably recoup on the couch in solitude. You guys, we don’t even have a fish or a dog to hold us back.

All in all, I am blessed. I have an excellent job. My husband is literally getting paid to attend graduate school. God’s love is constant when I am moody, irrational, and sad about being babyless. God’s love is constant when I have had enough; He doesn’t get fed up, He just keeps accepting me under common grace.


This, my friends, is enough to be utterly thankful for.


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